Latest revision as of 08:56, 15 October 2020

Crud: Right now, we're delighted to deliver the most controversial thing to come out of Florida since "The Golden Girls" Masturbation Episode, Twiggy Ramirez and Marilyn Manson.
Marilyn Manson: All right!
Crud: Hey guys, thanks for...
Twiggy: Did you say "delarded to remember"?
Crud: Delighted. Delighted or delarded. Deluded? Don't ever mistake this for a professional interview. I'm sure this is the most shambolic experience you'll ever have on radio, guys. But thanks for coming in, Marilyn. I'll just start off by asking you about Fred Nile because Fred Nile has been ringing us trying to get on the show and we said, "No," but...
Marilyn Manson: Has he really?
Crud: Fred Nile actually have me his mobile number and in the number is 666!
Marilyn Manson: Do we... let's call him right now! Can we call him on the radio?
Crud: Well we can call him a bit later. I'll have to go and grab the number, but sure if you want to speak to him!
Marilyn Manson: Well, he just wants to have his 15 minutes. He sees me and he thinks, "Well, that's a fine looking young fellow. He's very famous. Maybe if I say his name enough they'll put my name in the paper too." You know, I spent the other night with him and it was...
Crud: Was this the orgy?
Marilyn Manson: Yeah. It was a shameful turnout. It was probably two elderly ladies showed up and he was impotent. We chopped up Viagra and tried to snort it; it didn't work.
Crud: Does Fred go off at an orgy?
Marilyn Manson: No. I was disappointed with his performance altogether.
Crud: I heard they called in the Nine Inch Nile, but once he took the Viagra things happened.
Marilyn Manson: No, what we had to do... We figured, but it actually did him in in the end. I thought, "Well maybe if Courtney shows her breasts he'll be aroused," and that set him out the door. He said, "Marilyn Manson may be offensive, but I have to draw the line with those weird meat biscuits!"
Crud: Well speaking of Courtney, Marilyn and Twiggy, you guys... well Marilyn Manson have been quoted as sort of slagging off a few of the acts on the BDO line-up: Korn and Courtney. Has there been a bit of bad blood on the tour?
Marilyn Manson: Absol... Bad? Do you mean HIV?
Crud: [laughs] Oh yeah. Syphilitic, herpes, whatever. Whatever blood you want.
Marilyn Manson: No! In fact, Courtney and I and Twiggy as well, and those other fellows that are in our band, and in her band. Not Patty Schemel. She's not allowed to come cause I guess Courtney doesn't like her. We can't talk about her personal life, but I would like to bring her because I heard Patty does crack and I figure why not just throw that into the mix!
Crud: So do we! So we can certainly point her in the direction of a good dealer.
Marilyn Manson: However! No, we're doing a tour with Hole in the United States of America, so there's no real bad blood. I think Courtney's a little like Fred: She likes to get her name in the press next to mine.
Crud: Do you enjoy the controversy? Do you feed off it? Would you miss it if it didn't surround you?
Marilyn Manson: Which? The Courtney or the Fred Nile?
Crud: Yeah, Fred Nile. Controversy in general.
Marilyn Manson: Well, I think if you're creating something that is provocative, it should make some people upset. I think it wouldn't be rock n' roll if it didn't. It would be one of those bands with a number in their name: Third Eye Blind, Matchbox20, 311.
Crud: Yeah, they're from Florida, Matchbox20, Marilyn. The same state as you.
Marilyn Manson: That kind of music hurts people. It hurts kids. It makes kids think that they should look stupid and listen to really terrible music.
Crud: Marilyn, one of the things I like about you is that we read about bands like U2 these days who backstage sip mineral water and read French poetry. You've really brought back the celebrity tantrum; All the chucking, thrashing hotel rooms, chucking TVs out. Do you plan to continue along those lines?
Marilyn Manson: It's just a matter of doing what you feel like doing at the time. I don't think it's ever a point where we feel we need to break things. That's really what performing is about. That's where we break most of our things. Especially the hearts of young ladies!
Crud: Well, speaking of people worth adoring, apparently you own a Lionel Richie picture. Is this true? And you have an interesting theory about "Dancing on the Ceiling"?
Marilyn Manson: Well, Twiggy actually has the Lionel Richie picture. Actually, we hired a Lionel Richie look alike as my bodyguard. I don't know if you saw him when we came in. That black gentleman.
Crud: And he's getting more ladies than you?
Marilyn Manson: Well, he lures people because they think that he is Lionel Richie and they fall into that trap about Dancing on the Ceiling. That, like I've mentioned before, is just purely a metaphor for narcotic use and the things that go along with that.
Crud: Now Marilyn and Twiggy, we were talking about the worst movie that you've ever seen; that's what we've been conducting talk back on tonight. Have you got any thoughts on this? What's the worst flick that you guys have seen?
Marilyn Manson: Kurt and Courtney!
Crud: [laughs] Oh really! Do you want to talk about it at length?
Marilyn Manson: It just didn't have enough to it. It kinda made her look like a bitch, but it didn't go all the way. I've seen her be more of a bitch than she was in the movie. I've seen better sex scenes in our dressing room with Twiggy!
Crud: And a goat.
Marilyn Manson: She would like me to say that it's the worst though, so I'm gonna take that back. I'm going to say it's the second worst!
Crud: What's the worst?
Marilyn Manson: The worst film that I've seen was "Can't Hardly Wait". I watched it twice to make sure it sucked as much as I thought it did. And not only does it promote really piss-poor acting, it encourages kids to listen, once again, to bands like Smashmouth and 311 and anything that's sports related it really bothers me and it makes me upset.
Krud: Okay Marilyn, well stick around... that's a really corny show biz thing to say, isn't it. Cause we're just going to hear a track off... the first single off your Mech-[pause]-anical Album CD. Mechanical Animals, sorry. This is The Dope Show. [Ngyah! I hate Crud!]
Crud: Right now we're still in the Crud Cave with Twiggy Ramirez and Marilyn Manson! Marilyn has been trying to get in touch with Fred Nile. As we mentioned earlier, Fred rang today and he left his mobile number which ends in 666! No joke! But we weren't able to get hold of him, Marilyn.
Marilyn Manson: What is that number? Can I borrow that number for a minute?
Crud: Yeah, you can borrow the number. I'm sure that you guys could speak... ah here it is! It's over here... But perhaps we can keep trying...
Marilyn Manson: [breaks in very loudly] You mean 0414-516-663? That number?
Crud: [laughs] Yeah, that's it!
Marilyn Manson: 0414-516-663. I think all Marilyn Manson fans should just call him up and say, "Please! Here's your chance! Convert us."
Crud: Well he wants to convert you to Christianity. Have you thought seriously about it, Marilyn?
Marilyn Manson: I've got my own form of Christianity. My cross is made out of TV sets. And I've got more than 12 disciples. Jesus Christ invented rock n' roll. He did! There wouldn't be celebrities if it weren't for Christ because he was the first celebrity.
Crud: The 12 apostles were the first groupies, you reckon? The first roadies?
Marilyn Manson: It was his posse, if I can use the kind of urban terminology.
Crud: [laughs] Now Fred Nile has said a lot of things about you, Marilyn. He's called you evil, he's called you a lot of nasty names. Do you ever get hurt by some of the stuff that people say to you? Or about you?
Marilyn Manson: Absolutely not. I think that what matters is what you think about yourself. How you believe in yourself. As long as the fans love what we do, that's all that's important.
Crud: Cause if you do get hurt, I'd always give you a hug.
Marilyn Manson: [laughs]
Crud: I'm that kinda guy! Marilyn, there have been so many rumours about you. You've been rumoured to have wiped your butt with an American flag.
Marilyn Manson: That's true.
Crud: Killed puppies on stage?
Marilyn Manson: That's not true.
Crud: Not Labrador puppies. That's what I read. Also, had sex with a sheep on stage. Was that true?
Marilyn Manson: I couldn't even find a sheep, let alone have sex with him. But I did wipe my butt with the American flag and that was in protest of Bill Clinton's treatment because I think anyone who gets a blow job should be applauded. In fact, let's applaud Twiggy! [everyone claps and laughs] This is for Courtney and Twiggy!
Crud: Well done Twiggy! Do you find Monica Lewinski attractive, Marilyn or Twiggy? Is she the kind of girl you'd go for?
Marilyn Manson: In comparison to Courtney, do you mean?
Crud: Well, if you want to compare her to Courtney, by all means!
Marilyn Manson: You're going to have to ask Twiggy that. Twiggy's kind of the Bill Clinton of the Courtney.
Twiggy: No, no, no, I don't find Monica Lewinski attractive.
Crud: Twiggy, according to rumour and legend, Marilyn's parents or Marilyn's father has carried a naked picture of you in his wallet. Is this true or untrue?
Twiggy: No, I carry a picture of his dad in my wallet but I lost my wallet so it's not with me right now.
Marilyn Manson: My dad does have a picture of him naked though. I gave it to him.
Crud: And your mum has a pet rat called Marilyn. Is that true?
Marilyn Manson: That rat's dead. It's in the freezer now. She has it cryogenically preserved so she can revive it later.
Crud: Do you think you'll ever have kids, Marilyn? Have you thought about it?
Marilyn Manson: In what way? Biblically?
Crud: Well yeah, Biblically. Or would you like to genetically create one?
Marilyn Manson: I may have some kids. I may have...
Twiggy: I have some dead kids!
Marilyn Manson: Yes, I have had several dead children.
Crud: Well if you keep having sex with sheep in stage you may have some very weird kids!
Marilyn Manson: No, I've never had sex with a sheep on stage.
Crud: In the world of celebrities that you guys move in, do celebrities have bizarre sex? Cause the more I read about you and the more stories I hear about you guys sucking on Dave Navarro's nipples from the Chilli Peppers... Well he said you were sucking on his nipple, Marilyn. Does the world of the celebrity hype and whatever, does it create bizarre sex?
Marilyn Manson: [silence] You know, it's hard to say whether it's any different than anybody else. I'm sure it can't really stand up to Fred Nile. I'm sure right now, the reason why he's not answering, and I invite him to call, is because he's probably at Goldfinger's getting a lap dance!
Crud: Well he has the Fred Nile memorial bench there probably. You apparently are doing a movie coming up shortly, I've heard, and you have to grow a moustache for it. This is one of the things I've read.
Marilyn Manson: No, I already did that. It was a while ago. It's a small role, but it's a sexual role and I think a moustache, much like Lionel Richie once wore in his heyday, is a symbol of sexual prowess. Much like a scarf, such as I'm wearing today, is also a symbol of homosexuality. Cause Fred, not Nile, but Fred from Scooby Doo, a lot like Fred Nile. But Fred from Scooby Doo always wore the blue scarf and you'll note that he was always around Daphne and Velma. And Velma's probably a lesbian. Daphne, and he never had sex with her. And I think they were all drug addicts because they were all hallucinating constantly and they were hungry. I have some very strong theories about Scooby Doo. I can't get into that right now. And I have a contract with you that I can't discuss that. I may ONLY discuss the Kurt and Courtney thing!
Crud: Well Scooby Doo was a drug term in the sixties in San Francisco. A Scooby Doo was, I think, LSD or something.
Marilyn Manson: There was that band who sings that song, Scooby Doo, going around fighting everybody at the Big Day Out. The Fun Lovin' Criminals don't sound very fun. They beat up a bunch of people. Now they're probably going to beat me up!
Crud: Have you ever been beaten up, Marilyn? By crowd members or something like that?
Marilyn Manson: No, I was beaten up in High School, just as I should've been. If I wasn't me, I would've kicked my own ass. I'd kick my own ass now just for being me!
Crud: In American High Schools is it like, we see all these sort of college films like "Frat Houses", "Revenge of the Nerds". Nerds and jocks and that kind of stuff. Was that what it was like going to school? What is like that for you?
Marilyn Manson: It's probably the same as it is here. I'm sure it's not that different.
Crud: Did you have friends named Ralph and Potsy and stuff like that?
Marilyn Manson: No, but I got crabs in 10th grade.
Crud: Oh really? Wow! Did you have guys like the Fonze lure you into public toilets that they called their offices?
Marilyn Manson: You're going to have to run that by me again. I didn't catch that.
Crud: Well I've always though with Happy Days, you've got a guy like the Fonze; he's an older man, leather jacket, he calls the public toilet his office and meets school kids in there.
Marilyn Manson: I think I'm a little concerned also about Fonze's sexuality cause as you said, he was an older man hanging out with these younger guys in High School, always inviting them into the lavatory.
Twiggy: That's what made him so cool!
Marilyn Manson: That's what I liked about him!
Crud: Marilyn, you once said that great music is always made by drug addicts. Do you believe that?
Marilyn Manson: Well I think that music is made with sex and drugs in mind. It's usually recorded while having sex or doing drugs and should be listened to in the same manner.
Twiggy: In the same sense, music can make people drug addicts too.
Crud: Is that the case with you, Twiggy?
Twiggy: Oh no. I don't like music.
Crud: [laughs] That's very well evaded! Well Marilyn and Twiggy, thanks for coming in and joining us on the show.
Twiggy: Of course.
Marilyn Manson: All right. Thank you.
Crud: And we're sorry we couldn't get Fred Nile in for you. Well, we might see! Fred, if your listening, give us a call and you can probably speak to...
Marilyn Manson: You know, I think that Fred should spend his time trying to save Courtney, not me. Cause I have a firm grasp on my role as the new Jesus Christ so he doesn't have to try to convert me to Christianity.
Twiggy: Fuck him.
Marilyn Manson: I think that he should discuss things with Courtney because Courtney, I've found, is probably more likened unto the devil than I am.
Crud: And Celine Dion's not much better either.
Marilyn Manson: Celine Dion wears a mask. I don't know if you guys know this! Her face is a rubber mask. I saw her without the mask on.
Twiggy: You can buy them.
Crud: [laughs] Really? You can buy them? What was it like without the mask, Marilyn?
Marilyn Manson: It was no worse.
Crud: Well it couldn't be much better. Marilyn and Twiggy thanks for coming in. Of course you can catch Marilyn Manson at the Big Day Out as they tour round the country. And guys, we hope to have you back in Australia soon and have you and Fred at an orgy. Live on air. We'll get Tommy Lee to hold the video camera.
Marilyn Manson: All right.

1. ↑ Tony Moclair a.k. Crud