Editing Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids Newsletters

== April 1991 Newsletter ==

=== Hello Spooksters ===
We greatly aprecciate your wonderful presence at '''"The Institute"''' (yuck!) and the '''"Butthole South"'''. By the way, those of you who saw my forehead get cut open-it has healed with a small scar. No need to send flowers.

We are recording new stuff-"[[Thrift]]", "[[Learning to Swim]]", "[[Big Mother]]", - and the old favorite "[[Junk the Magic Dragon]]". So we will make those available as soon as possible.

By the way, april is the '''SATANIC LOVE REVIVAL''' month so call and leave your most evil messages. 972-0541!

We are currently sorting through hundreds of hours of tape, picking "the best of" the [[Answering Machine Messages|answering machine messages]] which will appear locally on a [[Big Black Bus|double cassette compilation]] and will eventually end up on our studio album. (Which we promis is on its way soon, thanks to you.)

=== Here's our critic picks for the month ===
<pre>
Best Video: Frankenhooker
Best Tape or C.D.: Tad: "8-Way Santa"
Best Motion Picture: still remains...SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
Best Drug: We pick Mushrooms for April, dry or moist
Best Sexual Act: The strong arm fellatio combo.
</pre>

=== Shows this month ===
'''APRIL 11 at CLUB NU in MIAMI BCH.'''
<pre>
***the scrumdidilyumptious satanic love revival***
</pre>
'''16 and over Show starts at 10 P.M.'''



'''April 26 at REUNION ROOM in FT. Lauderdale'''
<pre>
***the return of the chainsaw love revival***
</pre>
'''This will be our 1 year anniversary show as well as [[Scott Putesky|Daisy Berkowitz's]] birthday. So fuck FRONT 242 and come see us goddamnnittt!'''(sorry young ones, this is 21 and older)


=== Key PHRASE TO DECIPHER FOR BIG CASH AND PRIZES... ===
(If you figure out the hidden meaning, call 972-0541 and win either a t-shirt or video. first correct caller only.)

Lisa stumbled from the trailer, smelling like Devil's food and semen. As she neared the pick up truck, "SWEET" Bill caught her and forced her back down to a level where he could once again see the roots of her bad bleach job.

FIGURE IT OUT AND CALL 972-0541...


=== *****also***** ===
We will award a lifetime pass to all of our shows to the person who performs the best ritualistic murder.
if you manage to elude the PIGS, we would love to have you at all of our concerts.

We would like to congratulate KEVIN for being prankster of the month. Aside from masturbating, he spent all of his free time calling the numbers we suggested. It's fun, he tells me. So try it. Maybe you can be thee King of pranks next time. (YOU WILL BE REWARDED GENEROUSLY WITH SEX DRUGS AND ACTION FIGURES)

SO CALL ANY AND ALL OF THE FOLLOWING NUMBERS: try to call 5 or 6 times a day for optimum results.


'''1) the request list'''

call WSHE on sunday night from 9-11. 550-wshe

call WKPX everyday all day and harass all those retarded little fuckers. 572-1335

Call WLRN Monday nights at 12 midnight and tell BOB SLADE to play us and say, "ACID IS GROOVY, KILL THE PIGS." this will insure airplay. 523-7681


'''2) the prank list'''

call the Button South every day after 4 p.m. ask when we're playing. 454-4880.

call Reunion Room at least twice a day and ask when we're playing and when the after party show is. Say you heard it on the radio. call call call 491-2940

call this place called "Looney Tunes" and ask them if they will perform "the beastiality-necrophilia-fire-dance at your 16th birthday party." call call 785-9700.

now most important------
this guy, Chris Whitney, has been leaving obscene messages on the Spooky Kids hotline. However, he is not a fan. And I just happened to find out his number. 341-3190! when you call make sure it's late at night and ask: "Are you still selling your Lionel Richie Album collection? call call 341-3190!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

making these easy calls helps us (you) and it makes the "we" stronger. Against (them). We don't want to be them so we must be better at being the (we).

'''BE EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE'''

'''I AM JUST YOU.'''

together, we can make them change, instead of fighting so hard to be accepted.

<pre>
If that doesn't
work we'll swoop
down on the towns
and kill everyone
that isn't beautiful
</pre>
'''LOVE [[Marilyn Manson|MARILYN]]'''



== May 1991 Newsletter ==
=== Children ===
sad things have happened since we last spoke. But first I would like to welcome all of the newcomers and thank the rest of the family for your support at Reunion Room and Club Nu.

It is sad that some of your parents have opened letters like this, your letters, and read them. They have banished their children to their rooms, retracted them like small pink pinalluses on a dogs underbelly. Ashamed.

Your parents are afraid of you because you can and are doing everything they cant and that scares them, makes them feel old...they hate us more than they love us most of the time.

'''What they don't understand is:''' How to cope with their fear like we do.

FEAR IS AWARENESS AND AWARENESS IS ONLY A FORM OF LOVE. TOTAL FEAR=TOTAL LOVE. once you give into fear it ceases to exist and all that's left is love. TRUE LOVE CASTS OUT ALL FEAR. IF YOUR PARENTS OR BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS ARE afraid OF ME (YOU) THEN THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM!

SO PLEASE, to all of you who are still living in fear of yourself and being the YOU in OUR world of IS:

<pre>
let ego die,
cease to exist,
follow us downstream.


FUCK KILL STEAL LIE

these are just paper words

FUCK KILL STEAL LIE

why are we afraid?

did it change your life to read those words?

FUCK KILL STEAL LIE

say it.

does it hurt your mouth?

</pre>

=== Hear, Say, Read, See, what you want ===
don't let their guilt stop you, their rules they made up, their sins they created.

guilt is a snake outsiders grow in the spotless, kitchens to bake in their pies for their angry dinner parties snakes that squirm in your bellies, twisting your intestines then your head. Eating your vertebrea, making you spineless, hiding in your mouth, whispering with your lips. '''RISE UP AND BE YOU AND NEVER SACRIFICE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S GUILT.''' Don't sell out your rights for college tuition money.


=== May Shows ===
'''May 10''' at WEEKENDS in Boca Raton. ALL GOOD GODDAMN AGES INVITED. (wear an x on your forehead and receive our new single "[[Learning to Swim]]." meet me after show.

'''May 16''' at CLUB NU in Miami, you dope. this is 18 and older, however admission is FREE FREE FREE, goddamnitt!

'''May 30''' at thee BUTTON SOUTH. all freaked-out fucking ages for this our final performance of the SPRING.

=== Update Update Update ===
We will be putting out a new tape this month

It will contain:[[Dune Buggy]], [[Strange Same Dogma]], [[Learning to Swim]], [[My Monkey]].

<pre>
FANS OF THE MONTH:
(it was hard to pick so here's 3)
</pre>

'''Stewart Bernstein''' with his new eddie munster/danzig hairdo that we find very exciting.

'''ARLENE a.k.a. "MAMA"'''

'''JEN, RAY'S SISTER''' whose voice we sampled off of the hotline and put in a new song that we're working on now. By the way she says she's looking for a date. anyone interested call her at 974-7153, but be nice, we love her.

by the way thanks for calling CHRIS WHITNEY about those Lionel Richie albums. I finally purchased them. we can now leave the poor little dick alone now.


=== CRITIC'S PICK OF THE MONTH ===
<pre>
tapes: FEAR OF GOD and ALICE IN CHAINS
videos: WILD AT HEART, HORTON HEARS A WHO
recreational candy and/or drugs: EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPERS, LSD (of course, you dope)
</pre>

=== Call these goddamn numbers: ===
WSHE on sunday night 11 p.m. 550-WSHE (request our new shit).

WKPX 88.5 all day any day-Harass those morons - 572-1335


== June 1991 Newsletter ==

=== NEWS FLASH****************** ===
our tape, posters and stickers are now available. call the hotline if you are interested.

the tape, [[Lunchbox (demo)|LUNCHBOX]], contains "[[Dune Buggy|dune buggy]]" "[[My Monkey]]" "[[Learning to Swim|learning TO swim]]" "[[Cake and Sodomy|cake and SODOMY]]"

=== dear spooks ===
thanks much for your support at club nu, summers, the butthole south, and weak ends. for those of you who missed out we spent some time introducing the chocolate cow. for the uninitiated hear is a brief, very brief synopsis of the origin of the COW.

'''in the beginning there was a cow, from which all good chocolate came'''

'''and chocolate cow so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son/daughter that whosever believes in him shall not perish but will live happily ever after in the great chocolate factory'''

'''and the cow sent down from the factory his holy spirit fashioned in a magical music band that would help the bovine messiah head the sweet-toothed children to the promised land...'''

as a member of the spooky kids family, you are automatically invited into the FIRST CHURCH OF THE CHOCOLATE COW. OUR beautiful new, do-it-yourself quasi-religious pep club. if are interested in being "saved" please call immediatly...972-0541. WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY. just your chocolate, and love of course.


=== CRITICS PICKS ===
<pre>
tape of the month: PRIMUS sailing the seas of cheese
video of the month: MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY
book of the month: LEATHERFACE comics, issue 1
sexual act of the month: double-slut-backseat-blowjob-bonanza (you two girls know who you are)
drug of the month: ethyl gaz with a chocolate milk chaser
</pre>

=== ***white trash groupie of the month*** ===
this honor belongs to Lori "make it stop hurting Dana Strumm" (she supposedly dated everyone in our band, but somehow none of us have ever gone out with her?)

=== SHOW YOUR PHONE SKILLS ===
CALL ANY AND ALL OF THE FOLLOWING NUMBERS: try to call 5 or 6 times a day for optimum results.

'''1) the request list'''

call WSHE on Sunday night from 9-11. 550-wshe

call WKPX everyday all day and harass those retarded little fuckers. 572-1335

call WLRN Monday nights at 12 midnight and tell BOB SLADE to play us and say, "ACID IS GROOVY, KILL THE PIGS." this will insure airplay. 523-7681

'''2) the prank list'''

call the Button South every day after 4p.m. ask when we're playing. 454-4880.

call Reunion Room at least twice a day and ask when we're playing and when the after show party is. Say you heard it on the radio. call call call 491-2940.

call Ronnie every tuesday night and say your name is JAHOSAFAT (pronounced JAH-Ho-SAH-Fat) tell him you want to meet him at the 7-11 on Broward Blvd. his no. is 525-5536


=== FANS OF THE MONTH ===
most embarrissing fan: JAY (he's the guy that was dressed like one of the village people at weekends on the 1st.)

most dedicated fan: HOLLY from Holly lane. she went to all the shows and brought some wonderful gifts for COW.

fan I'd most like to see naked: YVETTE (she was very good at letting the chocolate communion syrup ooze between her breasts.)

* honorary spooky kid* [[Twiggy|GORDY WHITE]] of the most famous rock group AMBOOG-A-LARD (he made four appearences on stage this past month, and we thank him. And he's not bi-sexual. He says.)


=== Trivia Question ===
(WIN OUR NEW TAPE: [[Lunchbox (demo)|lunchbox]])

call the spooky kids hotline and in 5 minutes or less tell me why you love the chocolate cow. the best answer will recieve our newly completed demo tape, '''lunchbox''' , and a poster, plus four stickers.

=== SHOWS FOR JUNE**************************************** ===
'''JUNE 14/''' friday night, 16 and older '''(special guest: FREAKS W/ BEAKS)''' at SINBADS (formerly Dirty Moe's) located in the Del Mar shopping plaza, Palmetto pk. Rd. & Powerline just west of 95.

'''JUNE 27/''' thursday night, all goddamn ages at THE BUTTON SOUTH, Hallandale


== July 1991 Newsletter ==

=== **********FANS OF THE MONTH********** ===
most dedicated fans: LIZ AND LAURA, THE BOOB SISTERS. THESE TWO BIG CHESTED DAMES SPEND ALL THEIR TIME CALLING THE HOTLINE AND LEAVING MESSAGES THAT INCLUDE SCENES OF MASTURBATION).

most excited fan: CARA FROM NORTH MIAMI. SHE, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE EGG CHILDREN STARTED A VIOLENT MOST PIT DURING OUR ACOUSTIC VERSION OF "[[My Monkey|my monkey]]" AT Y&T RECORDS BIRTHDAY BASH.

coolest fan: STEVE from MAJOR WIGGIN


=== dear spooks ===
Welcome to yet another edition of the international (yes we have fans in Japan) spooky kids newsletter.-- always imitated but never duplicated. WHY? Because this is no bullshit, informal, nonsense, ego-trip update on our band. This is us. you and me. we and we.

So, first of all we would love to thank all the beautiful peoples that attended our musical services in JUNE. Particularly that ridickulous fish bar, and of course the wonderous LIDDSVILLE TRAILERPARK PICNIC (which was not understood by most of you, unfortunatly. hint: go to blockbuster ask them to Liddsville on video for you. watch it.)

Lots of wonderful folks brought some scrumdidilyumptious gifts that night and the chocolate cow is smiling on them.


=== SHOWS FOR JULY ===
'''THURSDAY, JULY 11 at the BUTTON SOUTH in HALLANDALE! "THI BIGGEST OOMPA-LOOMPA LOVE REVIVAL EVER" so much chocolate, ALL GODDAMN AGES!!!!!!!!! (first 10 people through the door with an X on their forehead will recieve a limited edition milk chocolate MANSON BAR)'''

FRIDAY, JULY 19 at WASHINGTON SQUARE IN MIAMI!! we will be showcasing for a record company so if you want to see your favorite band make something of themselves, please come by. 16 and older are admitted.

'''THEN...JULY 25, JULY 25!!!!!!!! at THE CAMEO THEATRE w/ the thrill kill kult'''


=== Trivia Question ===
trivia question winner from june was HEATHER FROM HOLLYWOOD

<pre>
trivia question for JULY
on SCOOBY DOO, what was SHAGGY'S last name. (this will take some research, but if we know it then you should too.)
</pre>

the WINNER WILL RECIEVE: a dream date with [[Marilyn Manson (band)|Marilyn Manson and the Spooky Kids]]. your choice of location and time and you may bring one friend. preferably your mom.

p.s. if you are a guy, we'll give the option of selecting a date with anyone involved in our statewide teenage prostitution ring. plus four free tokens to use at MCSUGAR's video arcade in Davie.


=== ****CRITICS PICKS FOR JULY**** ===
<pre>
best tape or c.d.: GODFLESH
best movie: ROBIN HOOD (they have nice action figures)
best video: POOR WHITE TRASH 2
best book: FRISK
best drug: FREE-BASING MASSENGIL W/EASY SPOUT
</pre>
best sex act: THIS ONE GOES TO TEX (our loyal roadie) WHO, WHILE IN CHICAGO TIED DOWN, SEXUALLY INFILTRATED AND WROTE MARILYN MANSON ON THE TENDER INNER THIGH OF ONE AMANDA "CROTCH".
<pre>
best doll or action figure: JOHNNY, MY NEW MENUDO DOLL
</pre>

=== show your phone skills ===

request us-

on WSHE sunday nights at 11 ask for "CAKE AND SODOMY" 550-WSHE

on WKPX, 88.5 every day alldaynonstopimeanannoythesepeople!!!! request anything. just keep calling until they play it or '''they''' commit suicide from frustration. 572-1335...572-1335.

on WLRN monday nights at midnight. 523-9681. tell bob slade to play us or you'll rip out his eye and skull fuck him...and also to have a nice evening.



PRANK LIST!@#$#c&***#$#@!**

to help strengthen the family (we,us) we must utilize our power through these tiny conspiricies. Most of you normally don't call the numbers i include, but this month we REALLY want you to do it. IT will reward you in the end.
<pre>
1) don't say who you are, of course.
2) call 5-6 times for optimum results.
3) get your friends to call
4) have fun and know that your pissing someone off.
</pre>

CALL THE BUTTON SOUTH after 4p.m. ask what time Marilyn Manson is playing and what exactly is an OOMPA LOOMPA LOVE REVIVAL. 454-4880

* CALL THE PURPLE GROTTO* every thursday (IT'S A HOLIDAY INN) and ask when we're playing, but keep calling until they scream. 472-5600


=== chocolate COW ===
due to the overwhelming mail we have recieved on behalf of the chocolate COW, we have added this new advice column. so in the future please adress your problems to dear chocolate COW, p.o. box 191190 miami beach, fl 33139.


dear chocolate COW,

i've been playing guitar for a rock band for a few years but unlike the spooky kids we are a posotive-message band. our soft rock is uplifting. anyway, recently i met a nice young man who also plays guitar and he and i went to the movies and took several long walks on the beach. everything seemed peachy until i heard the rumors that he was actually in love with MARILYN MANSON. is he? should i still love him? is [[Twiggy|gordy white]] really gay??!!
I'm not average
but I am confused,
JIM CANACHO


DEAR JIM,

I LOVE YOUR BAND BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD DISCONTINUE YOUR AFFAIR WITH GORDY "THE HILLSID E STRANGLER". ALTHOUGH I CAN'T VERIFY THE RUMOURS OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH MR. MANSON, I CAN SAY THAT EVENTUALLY YOU TWO SHOULD GROW APART BECAUSE OF GORDY'S FONDNESS OF SLAYER AND YOUR OBVIOUS PENCHANT FOR DOING THE WILL OF god. KEEP WRITING GOOD SONGS, BUT KEEP YOU SEX LIFE SIMPLER AND HAPPIER BY ADOPTING A BABY CALF.


<pre>
dear COW,
who's chad?
signed,
TRACY SEGAL
</pre>


WELL TRACY THAT DEPENDS. THE CHAD WE REFER TO MOST OFTEN IS [[Chad McCabe|MY COUSIN]] FROM CANTON, OHIO. THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES RANGE ANYWHERE FROM THE HALF-KOREAN CLERK AT KINKO'S COPIES. THE GAS STATION ATTENDANT AT THE bp ON THE CORNER OF MCNAD AND POWERLINE OR THE MYSTERY ORGAN PLAYER FOR THE BAND AMBOOG-A-?



'''call me and say hi, goddammitt'''

'''972-0541 MM'''

== August 1991 Newsletter ==

=== dearest spooks ===
As always, i must commend you on your wonderful attendance to all of the july shows. thanks to everyone who took the trip to west palm beach--and we apologize that the sound system was an utter failure. and for those of you that missed our july 11 appearance at the butthole south, we did bring THE CHOCOLATE COW. i can't say for sure if he will ever return--that depends on how bad you want him...AND!!!if you didn't notice july 19th at washington square marked the debut of our newest spooky kid, [[Sara Lee Lucas|SARA LEE LUCAS]], we have decided to retire the yamaha rx8 drum machine, in exchange for this cute, little pudwacker.

=== some facts you should know about SARA LEE LUCAS: ===
<pre>
FAVORITE BOOK: julia child's 10 favorite cake recipes
FAVORITE VIDEO: henry: portrait of a serial killer
FAVORITE BAND: us
FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER: fred, the suave fucker from SCOOBY DOO
FAVORITE TOY: black susie doll
</pre>

=== THE FOLLOWING IS A BRIEF INTERVIEW CONDUCTED BY CHAD McCABE DURING HIS WONDERFUL STAY IN SCENIC POMPANO BEACH ===
'''CHAD:''' may we discuss your subject matter?

'''MANSON:''' of course.

'''CHAD:''' does the song "[[Strange Same Dogma|STRANGE SAME DOGMA]]" advocate the burning of witches?

'''MANSON:''' absolutely not. the song is from their point of view. the phrase, "burn the witches" is spoken in a sarcastic tone which is why it is followed by "don't take time to sew your stitches." the song is about persecution. witches were the best metaphor i could use to express my point.

'''CHAD:''' what it the story behind the chocolate cow?

'''MANSON:''' the whole story comes to those who look for it. but for the most part, you just need to accept the fact that all good chocolate comes from COW.

'''CHAD:''' what is [[Satan on Fire|SATAN ON FIRE]]?

'''MANSON:''' satan on fire is a band in town that calls themselves "christian death metal." they hate the spooky kids because we are what they call "satanic-bisexual-substance-abusers." but to show them i can love anyone, we are going to let them play with us on the 29th at BUTTHOLE SOUTH.

'''CHAD:''' is [[Twiggy|gordy white]] really your lover?

'''MANSON:''' no comment.


=== LETTERS TO DEAR COW: (by the way, these are all legitimate) ===

dear cow,

does [[Marilyn Manson|marilyn manson]] have a girlfriend? does he have his eye on any particular girl? is he interested in the slutty type or fun, nice outgoing girls-or maybe weird ones? when he has sex does he think of it as getting fucked or making love? or is he in love with his own gender? is this too personal?

<pre>
love,
blue roses
</pre>

DEAR BLUE ROSES. WHAT IS THAT NAME? ANYWAY, MR. MANSON DOES LIKE GIRLS OF ALL KINDS. IT JUST TAKES THE RIGHT LUNCHBOX TO WIN HIS HEART.



dear cow,

is glenn richards (103.5 WSHE) really gay? I heard you say he was at one of your shows. he's my friend and he never told me? is it true?
<pre>
love,
Jennifer Winston
</pre>

DEAR JENNIFER, I CANNOT CONFIRM THOSE RUMOURS, HOWEVER, HE DOES PLAY AN AWFUL LOT OF [[Marilyn Manson (band)|MARILYN MANSON]] AS WELL AS AMBOOG-A-LARD, TWO REKNOWN HOMOSEXUAL ACTS.


=== CRITICS PICKS: ===
tape: [[The Smashing Pumpkins|SMASHING PUMPKINS]]/gish
<pre>
movie: anything but "BILL AND TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY!"
</pre>
video: DESPERATE LIVING (if you rent this classic you will come to understand the meaning of MORTVILLE and why we all belong there.)
<pre>
book: HENRY LEE LUCAS/with audio cassette confessions
</pre>
drug: if you drink a whole bottle of TRIAMINIC cough suppresent, you can hallucinate, we have discovered.

sex act: this goes to MELISSA, THE GOBSTOPPING COCKSUCKER (sorry, we did have a photo but it was confiscated by local law enforcement officials during a raid of our warehouse/opium den.)
<pre>
action figure: of course, it's the talking pee wee.
local band: HOLY TERRORS
</pre>


=== serial killer of the month: ===
JEFFREY DAHMER, the bisexual cannibal from MILWAUKEE (did you know he worked in a chocolate factory?)


=== SHOWS THIS GODDAMN MONTH ===
[[1991/08/11 Hallandale, FL|AUGUST 11]] at the BUTTHOLE SOUTH IN HALLANDALE! ALL FRIKKIN AGES ARE INVITED AND THE SHOW STARTS AT 9p.m. we are opening for roadracer recording artist, LAST CRACK.

AUGUST 15 at the PURPLE GROTTO on university in sunrise. 18 and over are welcome to this scrumdidilyumptious pork roast!

AUGUST 17 at WEEKENDS in BOCA RATON. this is also JENNIFER #1's birthday. ALL GODDAMN AGES should come.

then the show of all shows!!!!...THE CLASH OF THE MORONS!!!! August 29 at the BUTTHOLE SOUTH all fucked-up ages are invited to this challenge of SOUTH FLORIDA's MONSTERS OF ROCK MARILYN MANSON AND THE SPOOKY KIDS vs. [[Amboog-a-Lard|AMBOOG-A-LARD]] (with special appearance of [[Satan on Fire|SATAN ON FIRE]].) show does not begin until 10p.m. in order to achieve the total moron effect please arrive no earlier than 10p.m.

=== TRIVIA QUESTION: ===
in DESPERATE LIVING, who did princess coo-coo want to marry?

(first correct caller will win the deluxe, one-of-a-kind "I LOVE DADDY", Marilyn Manson shirt, with my ugly picture on it! full color! JUST CALL 972-0541)


=== FANS OF THE MONTH FOR AUGUST ===
<pre>
most artistic fan: SASHA
most dedicated fan: Jennifer #6
</pre>
coolest fan: BILL HOWARD, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS TRIES TO TAKE ME TO SOLID GOLD WHERE HIS GIRLTHING WORKS AS A "WAITRESS."
<pre>
fan we'd like to see naked: BILL HOWARDS GIRLTHING
</pre>


=== WHITE TRASH GROUPIE OF THE MONTH* ===
bill howard's girlthing. definitely.


=== LETTER OF THE MONTH ===
MR MANSON,

hope you like (the Dr. Suess book) I sent. It's not just from me. My mom is the one who bought it. cause she '''loves''' you guys. She didn't at first cause she thought you weirdoes were SATANIC. But you're not, right? Well, I think you should come over and she will make you guys dinner! She loves to cook!

<pre>
Love,
HOLLY and her MOM.
</pre>


=== prank for AUGUST ===
everyday between 6p.m. and 2 a.m. call DAVE at 946-8960. do not tell him who you are or where you got his number. just read him this story:

<pre>
Did I ever tell you that Mrs. McCave
had twenty-three sons and she named them all Dave?

Well she did. And that wasn't a smart thing to do.
You see, when she wants one and calls out, "Yoo-Hoo!
Come into the house, Dave?" she doesn't get one
All twenty-three Daves of hers come on the run!

This makes things quite difficult at the McCaves'
As you can imagine, with so many Daves.
And often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn
And one of them Hoos-Foos. And one of them Snimm.
And one of them Hot-Shot. And one Sunny Jim.
And one of them Shadrack. And one of them Blinkey.
And one of them Stuffy. And one of them Stinkey.
Another one Putt-Putt. Another one Moon Face.
Another one Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face.
And one of them Ziggy. And one Soggy Muff.
One Buffalo Bill. And one Biffalo Buff.
And one of them Sneepy. And one Weepy Weed.
And one Paris Gartners. And one Harris Tweed.
And one of them Sir Michael Carmichael Zuff
And one of them Oliver Boliver Butt
And one of them Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFare...
But she didn't do it. And now it's too late.
</pre>


== December 1991 Newsletter ==
HElLo fRom ThE guTTerS oF Fort LAudERHell, WHIch arE FILLed WITH STaLE WIne, blOod and BROKeN tOyS, HElLo loNG laSt FroM [[Marilyn Manson (band)|MARILYN MANSON AND THE SPOOKY KIDS]].

much HAS HAPpeneD sinCE we laST spOke AND Of cOURse tHere ARE maNY neWcoMErS to "THe FaMILy".

of COURSE mosT OF you HEARd abOUt GIdgeT GETtING arrESTEd AT the PuRpLe GrOTtO for CAUSinG troUBlE wiTH The NIce lADy pIg aNd Her LittLe PiGGiE fRiEnDs. HOWEvEr, hIs NIGHt iN JaIL PRoVEd To BE EDUcaTional as he ELUDeD HOrnY InmaTes USInG hiS stREET SMArTS ANd baRTerINg SKIlls. (THE kerMIT the FroG SOap on roPE didN'T hURT eitHER.)

once agAIN it's TIMe fOR The CLAsh OF The MOROnS WIth [[Amboog-a-Lard|AMboOgaBUtt]] At THE bUTTholE SOuTH. LAST tiME WE sacraficed THe CHOkliT coW TO SHOW EVERyone thAT THAt IS mereLY A symBOl, anD I'm suRe eVEryOne kNOwS thaT The COW is a PArt Of us aLL.

aLso SPOoKY heADqUartErs MOVed TO bOCA roTTen ANd thE nuMBer fOR our HOtliNE chANGED. HOweVER, IT IS BEING dIScoNNEctED BECauSE IT'S lonG DISTance FOR all OF YOu baD LittlE BOys and GIRLS TO calL AnD I can'T AFFOR'd it ANyMORe. SOrry.

also we did go to NEW york AND THINgs WITh RECoRD coMPANieS are LOOKin' REAL GOOd.

we UnDErSTAnD YOU Can't comE TO EVEry Show BUt fOR The NExt MONth evERY shoW is A SHowCASE FOR all of those Bizness people whO want tO BE IMPRESSed. (wE say fuCK tHEM, BUT IT wouldn'T hurt IF you guyS GOT the FAMILY SPiriT GOING this moNTH and CAme OUT tO THE shows sO WE can LAND a NIce DEAl and RECord THAt album YOU've beeN waitinG FOR us to DO all goddAMN yeAR.)

THAT Was thE BEGGIn SEGMent OF OUr newSLETTer. NOW ON TO The rest. so THAT Was we can INTRODUce OUrsELves TO newComeRS and RE-Aquaint with YOU LONG-time sUPPORterS heRE ARE our personal BIOs--NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK-style.


=== GIDGET GEIN bass ===
<pre>
fave lunchboxes: H.R. PUFNSTUF, ADAM 12, MUPPET BABIES, SPEED BUGGY
fave toys: me, myself and I. misc. puncturing devices.
fave bands: DEAD BOYS, ULTRAS, BEASTIE BOYS, RESIDENTS
fave movies: LIQUID SKY, BLUE VELVET, DRUGSTORE COWBOY
fave book: JUNKY by W.S. Burroughs
heros: Sammy Davis Junior, Stiv Bator, Sid, Sid and Marty Kroft, and other various
"dead boys."
</pre>

=== SARA LEE LUCAS drums ===
<pre>
fave lunchboxes: CAREBEARS, STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
fave toys: black janet doll, WOLVERINE and sue's wig
fave bands: HAZEL O'CONNER, THE CREATURES, MISSING PERSONS
fave movies: HENRY, BLUE VELVET, LOVE CAMP
fave books: CONFESSIONS OF HENRY LEE LUCAS
heros: Budgie, Steve (the doorman at SQUEEZE) CALL HIM 522-2151 on tues. night
</pre>

=== DAISY BERKOWITZ guitar ===
<pre>
fave lunchboxes: none; this of course, dates back to a
childhood trauma which may or may not be related to the
early '80s playground massacre, in which an unknown youth
bludgeoned his playmates to death with a metal lunchbox.
Subsequently, the boxes were outlawed because of their
weapon-like qualities and they were replaced by plastic
ones.
fave toys: girls' heads, my hair, SCOOBY DOO plush doll
fave bands: NO CLUE, SCREAMIN' JAY HOPKINS, SMASHING PUMPKINS
fave movies: RIVER'S EDGE, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, PARIS TROUT, DELIVERANCE, STEPPENWOLF
fave book: RED DRAGON
heros: JIMI HENDRIX, MAURY TERRY (author of ULTIMATE EVIL, dope)
</pre>

=== MADONNA WAYNE GACY (POGO) keys ===
<pre>
fave lunchbox: G.I. JOE, literal interpretation in slang*
fave toys: whippits, HK91, science craft home disection kit
fave movies: BRAZIL, FORBIN PROJECT, MEL BROOKS' THE PRODUCERS
fave book: NIETZCHES' BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL
fave bands: BLACK SABBATH, RAMONES, BUTTHOLE SURFERS, BIG BLACK, MELVINS, STOOGES
heros: Jeff Dahmer, Arther Brown, Schoepenhauer
</pre>

=== MARILYN MANSON voice ===
<pre>
fave lunchboxes: World of Dr. Suess, KISS, SCOOBY DOO, FAT ALBERT AND THE COSBY KIDS
fave toys: JESUS CHRIST action figure, Reba the mail lady, Cat in the Hat, GENE SIMMONS
doll
fave bands: PIXIES, ALICE DONUT, SOUNDGARDEN, BLACK SABBATH
fave movies: DESPERATE LIVING, BLUE VELVET, RIVER'S EDGE, TWISTER, WILLY WONKA, 
ROSEMARY'S BABY
fave book: OAK MOT by CRISPIN HELLION GLOVER
heros: Anton Lavey, Dennis Hopper
</pre>

'''WE HAVE A NEW VIDEO: "LAW OF THRIFT"''' (includes: "[[Thrift]]", "[[Let Your Ego Die]]", AND MORE!)

'''WE HAVE A NEW TAPE: "[[After School Special|AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL]]''' (includes "[[Negative 3]]", "[[Cyclops]]," "[[Choklit Factory]]," "[[Lunchbox (song)|Lunchbox]]")

'''THESE WILL BE AVAILABLE IN JANUARY.'''

'''WRITE TO US NOW c/o MANSON P.O. BOX 191190 MIAMI BCH. FL 33139'''


=== **********WHITE TRASH GROUPIE OF THE MONTH********** ===
this month's pick is quite a winner, she's "Not Average", she's "Picture Perfect," and now she's got a lot of "Spirit" but "[[She's Not My Girlfriend]]."

in A recent article in XS, covering a HOLY TERRORS performance (the band who sings "Spirit", dope) her decrepit, and shameless behavior was documented:

this month's winner, of course is Julie #13


=== GODDAMN SHOWS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON ===
'''DECEMBER 14th''' at '''THE PLUS 5 LOUNGE''' ALL FRIKKIN' AGES (yes, this place is white trash headquarters, but that will bring a change of pace to your life-an adventure!)

'''DECEMBER 19th''' at the '''BUTTHOLE SOUTH''' ALL FRIKKIN' AGES "'''CLASH OF THE MORONS II''' w/ [[Amboog-a-Lard|AMBOOG-A-LARD]]

'''DECEMBER 27th''' at '''WASHINGTON SQUARE''' 18 and goddamn older


=== POLAROID CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!! ===
send us a polaroid picture of our name used in a depraved, illegal and perverse manner. the best photo will win the following:
<pre>
1) published in this newsletter
2) copy of our home video
3) admission for you and a guest to a show of your choice (within the limits of age laws)
4) all four of our tapes plus our unreleased new demo.

DEADLINE IS JAN. 6!!!!!!!! (send all photos to po BOX 191190 miami bitch florida 33139)
</pre>
[[Category:1989-1995 Era]]